


don't know how much it hurts to turn around like you were never there

by Anonymous



Series: just woojinnie and channie [2]
Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Angst and Fluff and Smut, Arguing, Awkwardness, Bang Chan is Whipped, Blindfolds, Blow Jobs, Blushing, Buttplugs, Candy, Chocolate, Condoms, Confessions, Daddy Kink, Dental Dams, Disordered Eating, Dorks in Love, Heartbreak, Hickeys, Idiots in Love, Internalized Homophobia, Kim Woojin Is a Sweetheart, Kim Woojin has a Big Dick, Light Dom/sub, Lube, M/M, Marking, Misunderstandings, Pain, Panic Attacks, Pining, Possessive Behavior as a kink, Protected Sex, Rimming, Sad Bang Chan, Self-Harm, Sexual Fantasy, Size Kink, Spanking, Subspace, Trust, baby boy bang chan, jeongin is young and wise, just briefly mentioned, pineapple juice y'all, self-deprecation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-26
Updated: 2019-10-26
Packaged: 2021-01-03 08:36:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 15,540
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21176522
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: “You’re gonna be the death of me.” Chan mumbled, nuzzling his nose into Woojin’s hair and taking in the smell of his natural musk, the faded hints of perfume, his conditioner.“We should probably go home soon Channie.” Woojin said quietly, but made no move to pull away and stand up from the swing.“Get up then.” Chan said without moving an inch either, and they started giggling to each other. Chan pecked Woojin’s head, and then stood up with a small grunt. Woojin looked up at him, hair ruffled and flat and his face a little shiny from grease. He was slumped over in the swing and his clothes were baggy in an unflattering way; Chan had never seen someone so captivating and beautiful.“Carry me.” Woojin whined as he stood up, and Chan wrapped him up in a giggly hug.“No, you big baby.” Chan teased back, and Woojin blew a small raspberry on his throat, making Chan squeal with laughter.“You’re my big baby.” Woojin said fondly against his skin, and Chan felt warm happiness spreading in his stomach and up through his chest, bubbling through his mouth when he answered.“Yes I am. I’m yours.”ETA: I DO NOT CONSENT FOR MY WORKS TO BE TAKEN FROM AO3 AND UPLOADED TO ANY OTHER APPS/SITES





	don't know how much it hurts to turn around like you were never there

**Author's Note:**

> heard someone asking for more of this-
> 
> song title from 'i thought i lost you' by miley cyrus and john travolta (yes its from the movie bolt)
> 
> big thanks to min (seochangbin here on ao3) for helping me with this and encouraging me to finish it! uwu youre so sweet

Chan loved Woojin.

Actually, scratch that; he was hopelessly, completely in love with Woojin. The problem with that though was that he couldn’t confess to his best friend, in fear of upsetting the balance they had managed to establish now.

“Hyung, Woojin hyung said he will come walk you home later, me and Hannie are going home now.” Changbin said, pulling Chan out of his thoughts; Chan looked to the two younger men, who had pulled on their shoes and jackets and looked ready to leave the building.

“Yeah, I’ll call him. Stay safe.” He waved them off when they left, and sunk down in his chair again, pulling out his phone so he could call Woojin; the older man picked up after a few rings, sounding slightly winded. 

“Hey Channie, I’m on my way to the company, I’m just picking up stuff on the way. Do you want some juice?” Woojin answered, and Chan smiled, leaning his chin in his hand.

“I would love some orange juice, and maybe a granola bar? If they have any with dried strawberries.” He said, and he could hear Woojin chuckle on the other side of the line.

“Do you have the wallet? Does it need to be refilled?” Woojin asked, and Chan flushed slightly.

“Yeah, it’s fully stocked so you don’t need to buy any condoms.” He said, and Woojin giggled at his embarrassed tone.

“I’ll be there soon, bye.” He said, and Chan said a quick goodbye before hanging up, leaning back in his chair and pushing his hands through his hair.

Ever since they had started sleeping together on the regular, they had both started carrying cheap, simple wallets that they put condoms in. They both also had small tubes of lube with them, just so they were always ready. It had been Chan’s idea, and Woojin had quickly agreed, teasing the younger man until his ears had turned bright red.

Woojin knocked twice on the door before entering, and Chan could feel his whole body relax when the older man smiled brightly at him.

“Hi bear.” He breathed out, letting Woojin pull him out of his chair and onto the couch, happily wrapping himself around the older man’s shoulders as they sat down.

“Hey Chan, here’s your granola bar.” Woojin said and handed the wrapped treat to him; Chan accepted it with a happy noise, peeling it before taking a big bite.

“Thank you.” He mumbled around it, and Woojin patted his arm. Woojin then reached into the small tote bag he had brought with him and pulled out a long, slim box. Chan had ordered something online, that he didn’t want anyone but Woojin to know what it was, so he had asked the older man to take the package before anyone else did.

“So why did you ask that I hid this package from everyone and bring it to you now?” He asked, and Chan blushed.

“Would you want them to find your sex toys?” He muttered, and Woojin gave him a teasing smile.

“What did you buy then Channie?” He asked, and Chan gulped before ripping open the package. 

“A buttplug.” He gulped, holding up the black silicone object and then handing it to Woojin, who studied it with open fascination.

“You’ll have to tell me how it feels, I might just have to get one myself.” He said, and Chan bit his lip, digging around in the package to find the last piece; the remote.

“This would make it even more intense.” He said before pressing one of the buttons, and Woojin dropped the buttplug in shock when it started vibrating. It clattered around on the floor for a few seconds before Woojin regained his composure and picked it up again, and Chan switched it off.

“Holy fuck, can I use that on you?” Woojin asked and Chan nodded, pressing the small remote into Woojin’s palm.

“Since you and I are going to be home alone tomorrow, do you want to try it out then?” Chan said, a tinge of anxiety in his voice. Woojin turned his head and nuzzled their cheeks together, effectively calming his anxiety.

“If you want to, _ baby boy._” He said, and Chan couldn’t help but peck him on the cheek. There was a warm flutter in his chest when Woojin grinned at him, showing his bunny teeth and pink tongue, and Chan had to nuzzle his face against Woojin’s shoulder to hide his own giant grin.

“Fuck yeah.”

The next day they woke up together in Woojin’s bed, watching the other members in amusement as they ran around the dorm to get ready. Minho briefly sat down on the edge of their bed to put on his socks, and he spoke quietly to them.

“Jeongin is going to be coming home during lunch today, just so you know.” He then stood up and straightened out his T-shirt. “So he doesn’t walk in on you two fucking.” He added with a wink, and squeaked when both older men reached out and slapped his thigh.

“Fuck off Lino.” Chan grumbled and sunk down behind Woojin again, nuzzling his nose into his hair.

“And why do you even think we’re fucking? Can’t two guys share a bed without you shouting homo at us?” Woojin said, making both Chan and Minho giggle.

“I know that you’re fucking ‘cause I found this-” Minho held up a small Polariod photo between two fingers and then dropped it on top of the duvet “-and you can be glad it wasn’t any of the kids.” Woojin picked up the photo and held it so Chan could see as well. They both turned red and Woojin covered his eyes with one hand when they saw what it depicted - Chan on his knees, completely nude and his hands pressed against his thighs. His head was angled upwards with his eyes shut, ribbons of semen sprayed across his face and his exposed tongue.

“Where the fuck did you find that?” Chan grumbled, snatching the photo from Woojin’s fingers and stuffing it into his phone case, and Minho grinned at them.

“In the bathroom of all places. You two should be more careful, unless you want everyone else finding your amatuer erotica.” Minho winked at them before jogging out of the bedroom, and Woojin turned around to hide in Chan’s chest as he groaned loudly.

“I’m blaming that on you, bear.” Chan giggled and patted Woojin on the back of the head.

“I swear I was a hundred percent sure I had brought all the photos with me here last night.” Woojin said, voice muffled against Chan’s bare chest. The younger man shivered when Woojin started running his hand up and down his exposed hip, creating goosebumps along the pale flesh.

“Next time we should double check, so nothing incriminating gets left behind.” Chan added, and Woojin hummed in agreement. The older man kept tracing shapes into his hip and waist, pleasant tingles running up and down his spine and waking up his dick. By the time that all the other members had left the apartment Chan was annoyingly hard and ready to strangle Woojin for being a tease.

“We should make some breakfast now.” Woojin said, getting up and tugging his T-shirt over his head, which he then dropped on a chair. Chan groaned out loud at the view of his defined back and legs, and Woojin turned around to wink at him before walking out of the bedroom. Chan glared after him but got out of bed, not bothering to put on a shirt before following Woojin into the kitchen. The older man had already prepared eggs and strips of bacon in a frying pan, and while they were sizzling away on the heat he was putting slices of bread into the toaster.

“You’re the worst, you know that right?” Chan grumbled and Woojin winked at him. Chan leaned against the counter as he watched the older man cook breakfast in comfortable silence, occasionally humming tunes Chan faintly recognised.

“We both know you love me.” Woojin teased, back still turned to Chan. Chan’s face fell, but he mustered up a smile and an eyeroll when Woojin glanced back at him.

That was the thing; Woojin didn’t know. He didn’t know how much Chan adored him, loved him, how much he wanted to shower him with affection and kisses. He didn’t know how many times Chan has had to hold back the ‘I love you’s while they got off together. He didn’t know how much it pained Chan to hold back his cuddliness when they were around the others so they wouldn’t question his intentions. He didn’t know how many times Chan had sat alone in the living room, or the kitchen, staring out into nothing while he lamented his cowardess.

They set the table together, pairing their breakfast with orange juice. They sat across from each other, and Chan’s heart ached at the domestic setting, with the way Woojin was smiling softly at him and how he had interlocked their ankles under the table.

“Anything new you wanted to try today?” Chan asked while biting into his toast, and Woojin shrugged.

“Apart from the buttplug I’m not thinking of anything in particular. What about you, _ baby_?” Woojin said, and Chan took another bite of toast to hide the pain that surged through his chest at the nickname.

“I have something, but we’ll talk about it after breakfast.” He said after swallowing the toast and Woojin grinned at him, shoving more eggs into his mouth.

They cleaned up together after they had eaten, hips bumping as Woojin washed their dishes and Chan dried them off. After they had washed everything Woojin sat down on the couch, patting his lap when he saw how Chan hesitated. Chan straddled him, gently kissing him before saying anything.

“So what did you want to talk about, _ baby _?” Woojin asked, and Chan bit his lip, leaning down so he could whisper into Woojin’s ear.

“I want you to fuck me.” He felt the older man freeze, and he started kissing up and down his neck. “Please, I’ve wanted it for so long.”

“Are you sure Channie?” Woojin worried, and Chan nodded against his skin.

“We’ll take it slow. We don’t have to do it now, we can wait for later.” He murmured, and Woojin swallowed before tugging Chan’s head back by his curls.

“Let’s put in that buttplug now, _ baby boy. _ It’ll get you ready.” He whispered and kissed Chan, holding his head still as he invaded Chan’s mouth with his tongue. Chan sighed needily, gently rutting against Woojin’s thigh.

They had started going farther and farther with their sexual encounters, and Chan had discovered how much he loved having Woojin’s fingers up his ass. The first time they had to break it off before Woojin even got a second finger in him, since he had started crying hysterically. They had instead just cuddled and kissed softly, deciding to try again in a few days; with every attempt Chan felt better about it, and soon it was his favorite thing that they did together. He loved being on all fours, ass in the air and jerking off while Woojin pumped two or three fingers in and out of him.

“It’s in my backpack, I’ll go get it.” Chan whispered as he pulled away, and he jogged to the hallway where he had left his backpack. Hands practically shaking from excitment, he pulled the small fabric bag with the buttplug out, practically skipping back into the living room. Woojin giggled when he saw him, and kissed him sweetly as soon as he sat down again.

“Excited _ baby boy, _ huh?” He teased and Chan turned pink, and bounced gently in Woojin’s lap as he nodded.

“Can you open me up? There’s lube and condoms in the bag.” Chan whispered, standing up for a moment to shimmy out of his sweatpants and underwear and drop them on the floor before getting back on Woojin’s lap. He leaned forward, dropping his head on Woojin’s shoulder as he let the older man prep him, pushing one long finger into him with ease.

“What are you?” Woojin asked, and Chan needily grinded down on the finger inside of him.

“I’m _ Daddy’s _ good boy. I always wanna be a good boy for _ Daddy_.” Chan answered, and he could feel the chuckles vibrating through Woojin’s chest.

“You’re so obedient and good for me _ baby, _ I’m going to add another finger now.” Chan nodded, and sighed happily through his nose when Woojin pushed a second digit into him. 

“I love your hands _ Daddy. _ They fill me up so good, feels so good _ Daddy._” He breathed out, and Woojin kissed his shoulder and neck.

“Want me to put it in now?” He asked, and Chan nodded again, holding the buttplug for Woojin while he removed the condom from his fingers and instead picked up the lube. Chan gasped when he finally felt the lubed tip of the toy pressing against his entrance, and he forced himself to relax when Woojin started pushing it in, dropping a hand to his cock to distract himself. He swallowed around the lump in his throat when the plug finally bottomed out, and craned his head up to kiss Woojin again.

“Don’t turn it on yet _ Daddy _. I want you to surprise me.” He whispered into the older’s mouth, and Woojin nodded, kneading his asscheeks gently and pulling them apart.

“Put your clothes on again _ baby boy _.” Woojin said and smacked Chan on the ass before helping him up. Chan shifted around to get used to the sensation and shuddered when it pushed lightly against his prostate.

“What are we gonna do now?” He asked quietly while pulling his sweatpants on again, and Woojin grinned.

“You’ll see.” Chan giggled in anticipation and kissed Woojin, before the older announced that he had to go use the bathroom. Chan decided to go back to his bedroom, where he then decided to check his emails on his laptop. He had just sent off an email to their manager when a satin ribbon was slipped over his eyes and tied behind his head. His breath hitched, and then he felt hot puffs of air against his ear.

“W-Woojin?” He heard the older man chuckle, and then he was swiftly pulled up from the chair and turned around.

“I lied earlier; you won’t see. I also have something new I want to try out.” Chan let out a shaky breath and held on tightly to Woojin‘s hand.

“_ Daddy _, what are you doing?” He asked quietly, and squeaked when he was tugged along by his hand. Based on how the floor felt underneath his feet they returned to the living room, and then he was pushed to his knees on top of something soft and cushiony. Woojin let go of his hand and he could hear him walk around, and by the noise he guessed he was pulling up a chair in front of him.

“I’m going to play with you, and you’re not allowed to pull off the blindfold if I don’t tell you so._ Do you understand, baby boy _?” Chan shivered at Woojin’s accented voice and nodded, leaning into the palm that appeared on his cheek.

“_ Yes Daddy. _” He murmured, and felt a happy wave go through his chest when Woojin placed kisses all over his face, ending with a long heated one on his lips.

“_ Good boy _ . Keep your hands on your knees, and don’t you dare move them. If you move them you’ll get a punishment, and _ you want to be a good boy don’t you _?” Chan nodded eagerly, biting his lip in anticipation.

“Am I allowed to speak _ Daddy _? Or do you want me to stay quiet?” He asked, pouting when Woojin’s warmth disappeared.

“I want you to be as loud as you can _ baby _. No one else is here.” The older man said and Chan couldn’t help but grin.

“Does _ Daddy _ want me to scream to the world how good you make me feel?” He said, a seductive lilt to his voice. “Should everyone know how good I feel when you use me like a toy?” Woojin groaned, and Chan felt his large hand on the back of his head, treading into his curls.

“_ You’re so hot _ Channie.” He said, and Chan’s head was pushed forward, his face connecting with the familiar outline of Woojin’s erection. He mouthed at it through the thin fabric of his basketball shorts, loving the way it made Woojin moan loudly. Chan was pulled away by his hair and he heard fabric sliding against skin before he was pulled back, his mouth invaded by Woojin’s girthy cock. He moaned as well, relaxing his throat so Woojin could slowly thrust in and out. The heavy weight on his tongue, how he had to clench his fists against his thighs so he wouldn’t move, how he could feel everything so much more while blindfolded; it was magical. “ _ You’re such a good boy for Daddy. _” Chan grinned and let Woojin pull him off; he angled his head up at the older man to express his neediness, but before he could get a word out the buttplug started vibrating against his prostate.

“_ Fuck! _ ” He cried out, head lolling forward but held up by Woojin’s strong grip. His hips moved on their own, jolting and bucking up at the unexpected pleasure. “ _ Daddy, fuck, please touch me. _” Woojin chuckled and let go of Chan’s hair.

“Tell me what you want _ baby boy. _” He said and Chan whimpered, pushing his ass down on his legs in an attempt to push the buttplug farther up inside of him.

“_ Please Daddy, touch me. _” He whined, and Woojin chuckled again.

“You have to be more specific than that _ baby. _” He said, voice teasing, and Chan shook his head, a whine making its way out of his throat

“_ P-please Daddy… Touch my cock. _” He whispered, moaning breathily in relief when Woojin indulged him and wrapped his broad palm around his sensitive dick after pushing down his underwear.

“You’re such a good boy for asking Channie, _ good boy. _” Chan shuddered, and the vibrations in his ass changed from constant and steady to pulsating, making the pleasure roll in waves through his body.

“_ Fuck fuck fuck, Daddy, it feels so good, fuck Daddy. _ ” He groaned loudly. “ _ Daddy _ I love your hands, they feel so good.” Woojin’s soft mouth found Chan’s sensitive neck, licking and nipping gently at the pale skin. 

"Do you know what I'm gonna do later Channie? I'm gonna fuck you until you're screaming my name. The only thing you'll be able to think about is me, my cock filling you up. Isn't that you want?" Woojin muttered into his ear and Chan's body shook. Drool dripped from his lips as he nodded, and Woojin pushed two fingers into his mouth, which Chan happily licked on.

“_ Shit, Daddy _…” He mumbled around the digits and happily accepted the third finger pushing into his mouth.

“I’ve thought about this for so long, about getting to fuck your ass. It’s fucking gorgeous you know that right? And your thighs make me weak at the knees sometimes; you’re just so fit and strong, yet here you are, shaking under my touch.” Woojin said quietly and Chan didn’t know where the words came from, but they were making him feel wonderfully hazy and fuzzy. His mouth fell open fully and he sloppily licked Woojin’s fingers while the older man continued talking into his ear. “Everything about you is so beautiful and attractive, and you don’t even know how many times in a day I just want to jump your bones and fuck you senseless. God, I can barely believe I get to do this to you so often. I l-” Woojin cut himself off with a moan when Chan decided to suck hard on his finger tips.

“_ D-Daddy, please fuck Chris _ now.” He whispered, words slurred around the digits in his mouth. Woojin stilled and removed his fingers form his mouth, and suddenly the ribbon was pulled from Chan’s eyes, making the younger man squint against the light.

“So impatient _ baby boy _. Not yet.” He said softly, supporting Chan’s head so he wouldn’t fall forward. Chan whined, pouting at Woojin and bouncing lightly where he was sitting.

“Please?” He begged and Woojin shook his head, turning off the buttplug to Chan’s disappointment.

“I said not yet darling.” He stood up, but frowned when Chan didn’t follow.

“_ Daddy help _.” He said, stretching his arms up at Woojin, his hands trembling.

“You okay Channie? What’s wrong?” Woojin crouched down while asking and Chan wrapped his arms around his neck.

“Why don’t you want to play more _ Daddy _?” He mumbled, glad when Woojin pulled his underwear up again and sitting down so he could pull the younger man into his lap.

“You’re acting weird Chan, I need to know that you’re okay before we continue.” Woojin said, smoothing Chan’s hair away from his forehead and planting a kiss on the sweaty skin.

“I-I…” Chan mumbled, rubbing at his eyes with one clenched fist. “Feels fuzzy, but good fuzzy. I feel safe with you.” He tried to explain, and Woojin nodded, deep in thought.

“Hey baby, could you wait a little? I have to look something up.” Chan shook his head, snuggling closer to Woojin. Woojin sighed and pulled out his phone, letting Chan kiss and lick his neck and grind lightly on his thigh while he read.

“Woojin?” Chan said after a while, not that interested in continuing to hump the older man, and then gasped when Woojin groaned loudly and slapped himself on the forehead. 

“Channie, I think you fell into _ subspace _.” He said, and Chan’s eyes widened; they had never discussed BDSM or kink, even if their relationship was far from vanilla and they used the stoplight system more often than not, but for some reason they had never thought to sit down properly and talk out their boundaries.

“Oh.” Was the only thing he could get out of his mouth, and he rubbed at his face to hide the pink colouring his cheeks.

“We should talk more about this before we continue.” Woojin said with a sigh and Chan nodded solemnly. They decided to curl up under Chan’s blanket on the couch, legs tangled to the point where it was basically impossible to tell where the two started and ended.

“You know I trust you a lot Woojin? I wouldn’t do this with just anyone.” Chan said softly and Woojin kissed him gently on the lips.

“I don’t want you to get hurt Channie, I just want to make sure nothing bad happens.” He mumbled against his mouth and Chan’s heart ached so badly; he just wanted to hug Woojin close and tell him how much he loved him.

“Let’s set boundaries then. What are things you wouldn’t want to do to me?” Chan began, swallowing thickly as he expected disappointment.

“Well, nothing too unhygienic or anything that could cause permanent scars. Other than that I just want to make you feel good.” Woojin shrugged and Chan felt his heart jump in excitement.

“I-I wouldn’t want you to do that either, but I do like pain.” He couldn’t stop the smile that was spreading across his face, and Woojin’s expression started to mirror his own. “And I like feeling like your toy, and being praised.” He added and Woojin kissed him sweetly.

“_ Daddy’s good little fucktoy _?” He asked and Chan giggled while nodding. “Anything else?” Chan hummed in thought and shrugged.

“I have kinks I wanna try out, but I’m not sure if I like them yet.” He said, suddenly shy, and hid his face in Woojin’s shoulder. “But I like letting you control me, and when you tell me what to do.” Woojin chuckled, patting him on the back of the head.

“What are those kinks then _ baby boy _?” He asked softly and Chan bit his lip.

“Maybe some bondage? And I liked the whole thing with the blindfold, everything felt so intense.” He scratched behind his ear as he mumbled. “But then there’s something else I’ve thought about for a long time.” He added in a whisper, feeling his anxiety calm down when Woojin intertwined their fingers.

“How long?” He asked gently.

“Three years maybe?” Chan breathed out, pushing his fingers through his messy hair. “I like… bruises, and scratch marks and stuff like that. I feel so pretty with them.” He said, pushing down the shame beginning to rise in his stomach. “So I would love if you just marked me as yours, and made me look nearly beaten up.” Woojin frowned for a split second, but then it was replaced by an understanding expression.

“You want to be owned Channie.” He simply said, and Chan had to hold back the whimper bubbling in the back of his throat. “If we put it all together… You want me to use you like a toy, mark you so everyone would know you’re mine, you love it when I say that you’re mine.” Chan’s ears and face were heating up rapidly as the puzzle pieces fell into place in his mind, realizing just how right Woojin was.

“_ Fuck _.” He whispered and Woojin giggled.

“I would love to.” He teased, and Chan rolled his eyes. Then he got an idea and rolled them over so he was on top, holding Woojin down by his shoulders.

“Mhm, does _ Daddy _ wanna fuck me now? And show everyone you own me? Are you gonna cover my body in marks so everyone will know who I belong to?” He said in a low, seductive voice, and Woojin swallowed hard underneath him when he started to grind carefully. “I want your cock deep in me _ Daddy _, and I want you to bite and mark me while you fuck me.”

“_ Fuck. _” Woojin said, hands coming up to grip Chan’s hips and guide his movements. “You’re gonna be the death of me.” He groaned, but before they could do anything else the door opened and Jeongin stepped in, not even blinking when he looked into the living room and saw them dry humping. The two oldest froze, not knowing what to do when he glared softly at them.

“If you’re going to have sex atleast don’t do it in the damn living room. I’m gonna change clothes so could you two keep it in your pants for just a few minutes?” He grumbled, but didn’t wait for an answer and instead walked past them into his room. They sat up, awkwardly wrapping themselves up in Chan’s blanket again, that had fallen down around them when Chan had pushed Woojin down on the sofa.

“Well, fuck. Let’s hope he doesn’t say anything to the others.” Chan muttered, and Woojin grunted in agreement. Jeongin came back, changed into workout clothes instead of his school uniform.

“I’m not gonna say anything to the others.” He said nonchalantly, although his hands were shaking slightly while he tapped away on his phone and his cheeks were pink. “But you should be more careful.” He added and locked his phone, stuffing it into his back pocket.

“You sound like Minho.” Woojin groaned, and Jeongin shrugged, fiddling with his ear. Chan was about to speak up, to break the awkward silence, when Jeongin spoke again.

“Can I ask for a favor?” Chan and Woojin looked at each other in surprise, and then turned back to the youngest and nodded. “I-I wanna get lube, and condoms, but I don’t know where to buy them or if I can even buy them myself.” He explained and both of them made a sound of understanding.

“Do you want some now? ‘Cause I could give you a bunch, Woojin likes to buy in bulk.” Chan said, ignoring the irritated nudge from the older man. Jeongin bit his lip and nodded. Woojin let Chan get up from the couch and then wrapped himself in the blanket again, watching them as they walked into Woojin’s room.

“Thanks for not being weird about it hyung.” Jeongin said with a sigh of relief, leaning against the wall while Chan rummaged through one of Woojin’s drawers, where he kept the condoms and lube. He produced a small paper bag and stuffed about twenty condoms into it and a tube of lube.

“Pfft, you don’t even know some of the things me and Woojin have done.” He said with a laugh, and Jeongin grinned at him as he was handed the paper bag.

“I’m not sure I wanna know.” He teased back, and the atmosphere was light when they walked back into the living room. Woojin straightened up when he saw them, tossing his phone to the side.

“What do you need them for anyway?” He asked and Jeongin turned red. Chan gasped, wrapping his arms around Jeongin and snickering into his ear.

“Is Innie-baby gonna finger himself?” He teased and Jeongin pushed him off, steppin away so he wouldn’t be captured again.

“Shut up.” He said and fled out of the room, leaving Chan and Woojin laughing. Chan crawled back onto the couch. They heard the door slam shut and Woojin immediately pulled Chan in for a heated kiss, which the younger man melted into. He grunted when Woojin snaked a hand down to his ass and grabbed it roughly, and broke away to stare at him.

“I’m not complaining, but what was that for?” He panted, and Woojin rolled his straining erection against Chan’s bare thigh.

“It’s unfair how hot you are. You don’t even know what you’re doing to me when you walk around in only underwear and show off like that. And I also know what you have in your ass right now.” Chan bit his lip and trailed his fingers down Woojin’s stomach until he reached his waist band. He kept eye contact with the older man as he dipped his hand down into his shorts and grasped his cock, gently stroking the head with his thumb.

“Have you seen yourself today? I would gladly have skipped breakfast and let you bend me over the kitchen table.” He breathed out, and then whimpered when Woojin turned on the buttplug, the vibrations low and steady in his ass.

“I’m gonna ruin you later.” His voice rumbled deep in his chest, and he started mouthing at Chan’s shoulder. “What if I had turned on the vibrator while you were helping Jeongin?” Chan’s hips bucked up at the mental image of being discovered by Jeongin, how the maknae would stare at him as he realised why his leader was crumbling to his knees and letting out small whimpers.

“_ D-Daddy _ that would be so humiliating…” He whispered, moaning when Woojin massaged his ass harshly.

“But you like that _ baby _, don’t you? You like the humiliation. You would be so aroused if I teased you in front of the others. Isn’t that what you fantasize about?” Chan nodded with a whimper, and moaned louder when Woojin pressed one finger against the base of the toy and moved it around.

“I do _ Daddy _, I think about it all the time.” He admitted shakily, and whimpered when Woojin pulled him onto his lap so their cocks pressed together.

“Tell me how you fantasize about it.” Woojin ordered and Chan grinded down on him as thoughts came flooding back.

“I… I think about wearing something pretty under my clothes to practice, like a harness or something lacey, and no one knows. During a break you pull me with you to somewhere private, and you find out. You…” He swallowed dryly and squirmed under Woojin’s steady gaze. “You tease me and get me riled up and then you tell me to not touch myself, even when I’m super hard. When we go back to the others they notice I’m flustered and uncomposed, and they make fun of me too, and I have no choice but to just take it. Then when we get back to the dorm you pull me into the bathroom, an-and you make me suck you off, but you leave the door open and unlocked so everyone will hear and anyone could walk in. Then you…” He swallowed again and his voice dropped to a whisper. “Then you fuck me. You bend me over the sink and fuck me until I’m screaming, and you call me a whore for being so needy for your cock.” The last sentence seemed to make Woojin’s brain stop, because he stared at the younger man with wide eyes and his jaw dropped open. Chan started to fidget nervously with the blanket, and he furrowed his eyebrows as he looked everywhere but at Woojin.

“That… That was the hottest thing I’ve ever heard.” Woojin finally whispered and cradled Chans face in his hands, forcing him to look him in the eyes. Chan smiled in relief at him, and turned his head so he could pepper Woojin’s palm in kisses.

“You made me really worried, don’t scare me like that.” He chided, and rolled his eyes when Woojin stuck his tongue out at him.

“Sorry, you just dropped the sexiest thing ever on me and I had to processs it.” He said and kissed Chan again, hot tongue swiping into his mouth and making him melt. Woojin trailed one hand down Chan’s torso, pinching one of his nipples and making him whine into his mouth. Farther down, running his nails down his abs until he reached Chan’s erection. Chan squirmed when he traced circles into his groin, close but not close enough to his aching cock.

“_ Daddy _, please touch me.” He moaned and Woojin chuckled at his desperation. 

“I am touching you baby, isn’t it enough?” He teased, and Chan whined, looking up at him with a pout and wide eyes.

“_ Daddy _ please, can you suck me off?” He said, and Woojin’s breath hitched before he nodded. They moved around so Chan was sitting on the couch and Woojin was kneeling in between his spread legs.

“I’ve never done this before Channie, so you have to tell me what to do.” Woojin said as he ran his hands up Chan’s inner thighs. The younger man nodded and pulled his cock out; Woojin grasped it and Chan flushed when he saw he was only slightly longer than the width of Woojin’s palm. The older man noticed his embarassment and kissed his knee as he started jerking him off with slow, precise movements. “What’s wrong _ baby boy _?” Chan squirmed and fisted the blanket in his hands.

“Your hand is so big _ Daddy _… I-it makes my dick look small.” He mumbled, and Woojin grinnned up at him as he licked the tip of his red dick and made him shudder.

“Do you like that? Feeling small?” Woojin asked and Chan noddded with his lip between his teeth.

“It makes me feel so powerless, like a toy for you.” He murmured, and his breath hitched when Woojin ducked his head down to lick Chan’s cock from the base up to the sensitive head. He mouthed at the tip before wrapping his lips around it and sucking lightly. Chan moaned and threw his head back. “It feels so good _ Daddy _.” Woojin smiled with his eyes up at him, and took him farther back in his mouth.

Chan swallowed heavily, trying to keep his hips still so he wouldn’t thrust up into the wet heat of Woojin’s mouth. Woojin pushed his tongue up against the head of his dick, looking up through his eyelashes at Chan. He pulled off with a pop, smiling up at Chan and exposing his cute teeth.

“_ You like that Chris? You like my mouth? _” Woojin said sultrily, and Chan stuttered on his next exhale.

“_ I like you more. _” He mumbled, not able to stop the four words from slipping out of his mouth. Woojin froze, straightening himself up so he could look at Chan better. He stared up at him, clearly shocked. Chan opened and closed his mouth a couple of times, frantically looking everywhere but Woojin’s eyes.

Before Woojin could say anything, Chan spoke again.

“I’m… I’m sorry. I’m sorry Woojin.” He stammered, awkwardly getting up from the couch and pulling his underwear up again, grabbing his other clothes as he ran out of the room.

Chan didn’t see Woojin until the next afternoon, and it was incredibly awkward. They barely spoke to each other, and Woojin seemed to be avoiding looking at him at all. 

Chan was heartbroken, but the only thing he could do was pretend like everything was fine, that there wasn’t any awkward tension between him and Woojin, even if it hurt so, so bad.

He threw himself into work and exercise, even slipping into some old habits of restricting his food intake when he wanted to punish himself. The rest of the band members noticed, of course they did, but no one pushed it; they knew that Chan could put himself in a headspace where didn’t listen to anyone if he was very stressed, and it was better to leave him be.

Though that didn’t last forever.

"Hyung?" Came Jeongin's soft voice from the door, and Chan turned around in his chair with a heavy sigh. Their youngest was carrying a plastic bag that rustled loudly as he walked in, and Chan could tell from the delicious scent that he had brought food. 

Jeongin set the bag down and shrugged off his coat, and then firmly pulled Chan's chair away from the desk. 

"No, Innie I have more work-" He started, but was interrupted by Jeongin glaring him down. 

"No you don't. You have been here since yesterday, and Binnie hyung told me you haven't eaten properly." The younger man said gruffly, and Chan knew there was no point in arguing when he was in this kind of mood. 

They settled on the floor together, digging into the burgers and fries Jeongin had brought in silence. Chan tried to drag out the meal as long as possible, dreading the conversation he knew was coming after they finished. He stared down at the floor as he chewed, mind clouded in worry. He barely registered when Jeongin picked the empty wrappers and bags from the floor and stuffed them into the garbage can under the desk, and then sat down next to him again.

“Hyung. Channie hyung?” Jeongin said and shook his knee and Chan shook his head to get out of his previous daze. He let out a sigh and pulled his knees to his chest, and he could see Jeongin move around in his peripheral vision.

“I know I fucked up Jeongin. You don’t have to tell me that.” He muttered, and Jeongin grunted next to him.

“That’s not what I was gonna say, but yeah, we all know.” He said, and Chan moved his gaze to his pretty hands, watching how his rings glinted in the light. “You’re handling this wrong. I don’t know the details about your issues with Woojin hyung but shutting us all out like this is not the answer. Please, just talk to someone. You can talk to me.” Jeongin punctuated his sentence with putting his arm around Chan’s shoulders, his gentle fingers curling around Chan’s neck, and the older man had to repress a shiver. The touch felt startingly intimate, echoing how Woojin used to put his hands on him when he-

He buried his head in his knees, squeezing his eyes shut to get the _ wrong _ thoughts out of his head.

“I…” He started, voice coming out hoarse and rough. He cleared his throat before speaking again. “I know Jeongin, but I just… I don’t know how to say it, there’s so many things that went wrong and I don’t know how to say it.” He leaned into Jeongin’s touch, feeling starved for the affection.

“What started the whole problem?” Jeongin asked softly, and Chan swallowed heavily.

“I told Woojin something. An-and I shouldn’t have told him. It’s destroyed everything now.” He answered, and Jeongin hummed.

“Did you… did you say you like him?” He asked and Chan nodded slowly, breath caught in his throat. “And how did he react?” 

“He just… went quiet. And I panicked and left and worked out to get my mind off of things, and when I saw him again he wouldn’t talk to me.” He said, rubbing his hand across his face and over his messy hair. “And now it’s been two weeks and I got scolded by one of the managers yesterday since ‘everyone can see how tense it is’ between us.” He added, barely lifting his hands to add quotation marks. “But he doesn’t even want to be in the same room as me now.” He slumped down, glad when Jeongin wrapped him into a hug and held him against his chest.

“I think he just needs to process it hyung.” Jeongin said, and Chan pressed his palm to his eyes.

“But what if this, what if it all goes wrong? What if it ruins us? I, I, _ what if he hates me, what if _ this destroys Stray Kids, _ I worked for so long and _ now I’ve ruined _ it for all of us, oh God- _” Chan couldn’t see properly when he lowered his hand, and when he tried to swallow the lump in his throat made it near impossible to breathe.

“Hyung? Hyungie, are you okay?” Jeongin asked, but his voice sounded far away and garbled. Chan shook his head, fumbling blindly for Jeongin’s hands. It felt like an eternity before he finally grabbed them, holding onto him like he was drowning and Jeongin was a steady rock. The waves of his panic washed over him, but he tried to focus on Jeongin, on his voice telling him he was gonna be okay, on his thumbs rubbing circles into his skin.

Chan didn’t know how much time had passed, but when he finally calmed down he realised his head was pounding. He sat up with great struggle, shielding his eyes from the harsh ceiling lamp.

“Too bright.” He mumbled, letting out a breath of relief when he was plunged into darkness. He laid down again, feeling too weak to actually sit up. Jeongin sat down next to him and patted him on the arm.

“It’s okay hyung, I’ve got you.”

It became a pattern of sorts; Chan would isolate himself and Jeongin would be the only one who could get through to him. Chan would break down every few days, and Jeongin would be there to pick up the pieces every time.

“Hyung.” Jeongin’s voice wasn’t disappointed; it never was anymore, just sad. Chan looked up at him from where he was sitting against the mirrors of the practice room, T-shirt pulled tight around him. He looked away immediately, curling up more as if that could make him disappear.

“It’s late hyung, and we have things to do tomorrow. You need to come home now.” The younger man said gently, sinking down to sit in front of Chan. Chan stared blankly at the floor, hands gripping and releasing the T-shirt rhythmically. It wasn’t his; it had originally belonged to Woojin, but Chan liked to borrow it. It was comfortable and soft, and it always smelled like Woojin.

Now though, even the feeling of the soft fabric made him feel bad, but he couldn’t take it off. He deserved it. He deserved feeling shitty for being a terrible, disgusting person-

“Hyung?” Jeongin put his hand on Chan’s knee, effectively stopping his train of thought. Chan looked up under his bangs at him, and looked away when Jeongin smiled small at him.

“I don’t need to go home.” He finally said, voice raspy. Jeongin huffed, but scooted so he was sitting with his back against the mirrors too. “You don’t need me at home. Y-you have Minho, or Wo-Woojin if you need help.” 

He wondered if Jeongin could understand the implications behind his words, that he felt worthless at the moment. That he felt like nothing he could ever do could ever fix the mess he had created with his stupid feelings.

Jeongin sighed.

“Woojin is about as helpful as you right now. The only thing he does-” Chan waved his hands around to stop him.

“I don’t want to talk about him. It’s not like it would help.” He said, swallowing around the thick lump in his throat.

Chan was a filthy liar. Woojin was the only thing he wanted to talk about, and the only person he wanted to talk to. 

Jeongin sighed again.

“When are you gonna tell him you’re in love with him?” He said quietly and Chan ripped away from him, staring bewildered at him. Their positions were juxtaposed; Chan leaning away and back, holding himself up on his shaking hands; Jeongin relaxed with crossed legs, hands collected in his lap.

“How- Where did you hear that?” He whispered, as if saying it louder would shatter the glass house of isolation and illusions he had built around himself. Jeongin simply smiled at him.

“I saw it. It’s obvious if you know what to look for.” He said, and Chan took a shaky breath. “You love us all, but there’s something else between you and Woojin hyung. You… You fit together well. He supports you in a way no one else can, since you’re the same age. And he leans on you, since you let him. I think he can feel like he’s just a guy when he’s with you, not someone who has to be responsible over seven other people. But even then, when you take care of us together it’s okay. You balance each other out.” Jeongin paused, playing with a loose thread on his jeans before continuing. “You’re just Chan and Woojin, our goofy oldest hyungs.” 

“It’s… It doesn’t matter.” Chan whispered. “He hates me.” He added, and Jeongin let out a noise of frustration.

“I don’t mean to be rude but shut the fuck up Chan.” Jeongin burst out, and Chan was taken aback by his bluntness. “He doesn’t hate you, you just think he does. You’re destroying yourself, and you’re pushing us all away in the process.” Jeongin was seething and Chan deflated where he was sitting, head sinking down between his shoulders. 

“I’m so-” He began but Jeongin slapped his hands over his face and groaned loudly.

“I don’t want you to say sorry Chan! I want you to do something! Anything, to fix this!” He shouted, but when he saw how Chan flinched he softened, sitting down next to him and pulling him into his arms. “I’m sorry for yelling, but I stand by my words.” Chan buried his head in his shoulder, trying to slow his racing thoughts.

They sat in relative silence, and Chan spaced out so much he didn’t realise Jeongin had called someone. He only looked up when he saw the door open, and his heart dropped into his stomach.

It’s like he saw the details before he saw all of him. The heavy bags under his eyes, the down-turned corners of his mouth, the days-old stubble on his face, the tension in his shoulders, his greasy hair; Chan could only feel insurmountable guilt when he looked at Woojin.

“Innie said you wanted to talk to me, Chan.” Oh how he had missed his honey voice, but it still hurt to hear it filled to the brim with sorrow. Chan pulled away from Jeongin and stood up on shaky legs, but when Woojin took a step closer panic seized him and he dashed out of the room, shoving past Woojin on the way.

He got weird looks from people on the way out of the building but he barely registered them, the only thought in his brain being ‘get away, run away’. He let his feet lead him away from the company building, tears streaming uncontrollably down his face. 

He didn’t know how long he had been running, but when he finally collapsed in a park the rain was pouring down. When he looked around the streets were empty, and his loneliness made him cry even harder. He couldn’t make himself stand, so he crawled up to a tree and leaned against the trunk, wrapping his arms around his knees.

“_ Stupid, so fucking stupid, I’ve destroyed it all _…” He muttered to himself.

He had fucked up. So much. He knew how bad this all was, and he was pretty sure this was the end. The end of Stray Kids, the end of his career, the end of everything he had worked so hard on for seven years, all gone down the drain because he was a disgusting mess who couldn’t control his emotions. 

It was dark outside, and it had started raining even harder, when Chan woke from his light, uncomfortable slumber. He stretched out his stiff limbs, realising he was shaking like an aspen leaf and his teeth were chattering.

“There you are Chan.” Chan’s eyes snapped up, and it felt like his heart stopped in his chest.

A street light framed his form, the shine making him look ethereal. The rain was dripping from his umbrella, and he held a duffel bag over his shoulder with his other hand. There were tear tracks on his puffy cheeks, eyes red and glassy, and even then Chan found him so fucking beautiful.

“Why are you here Woojin?” He asked, voice hoarse and cracking. Woojin took a step closer, and Chan stood up immediately on shaking legs, his brain screaming at him to flee. Woojin stopped and instead he crouched down, and Chan followed suit, feeling weak in the knees.

“Because I care, and I’m not gonna let you get sick.” Woojin was seeking his eyes but Chan stared at the ground.

“I don’t want to go back to the dorms.” He mumbled.

“We aren’t.” Chan was falling apart and all the fight had left his body, so when Woojin stepped closer and put his hand on Chan’s shoulder he didn’t resist.

“So we’re going to the company then.” Chan breathed out, trying to steel himself for the fact that he was gonna get severly scolded for his behaviour.

“No. We’re going home to me. I called my mom and she told me we can come stay over for a few days. I talked with the managers too, and they said it was okay.” Chan’s breath got caught in his throat, but he let Woojin pull him up so he was leaning against the tree. “We’re taking a cab to the train station, so you can change clothes there.” Chan nodded numbly, and let Woojin put a hoodie on him and dry his hair off before putting on face masks on them both. The trip to the train station was a blur, and Chan only felt like he was properly in his head again when Woojin locked the door to the restroom stall they were in. Chan felt tears well up again, and he slid off the toilet seat and onto his knees.

“I’m sorry.” He whispered. Woojin sighed and crouched in front of him. The tension between them was still there, and Chan knew that even if the only thing he wanted was for Woojin to gently caress his face and kiss him and tell him he was doing okay, he wouldn’t get it.

“You don’t have to apologize Chan.” Woojin said, and Chan’s heart twisted; he wanted his Woojin back, the Woojin who called him Channie and had wormed his way right into the center of his heart.

“But I fucked up. I fucked everything up Woojin, and I can’t fix it.” He mumbled, and Woojin huffed as he stood up.

“Let’s not focus on that right now. You need to change clothes first before we get on the train.” Woojin said, and Chan shrunk in on himself.

“I, I can’t… I’m sorry…” He whispered, foot shaking anxiously.

“Chan.” Woojin said sternly, and it was like something in Chan broke. The tears that had been lining his eyes flowed over, and he bowed over as he cried.

“_ I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I know I’m bad, I’m sorry Daddy _…” He hiccuped between the sobs, and froze when large hands grasped his shoulders and pulled him into a sitting position. Face to face with Woojin, his beautiful face twisted up in conflict, before his features softened. He raised one hand and caressed Chan’s cheek hesitantly, but Chan melted into his palm.

“Don’t be sorry Channie.” He mumbled. “I’m the one that should be sorry. It’s just as much my fault, and you shouldn’t shoulder all the blame.” Chan nodded weakly, and let Woojin help him get up and sit down on the toilet seat.

“_ Da _\- Wooji-” Chan interrupted himself, anxiously rubbing his hands back and forth on his damp sweatpants. Woojin brushed his hair back from his forehead and tilted his face up, smiling gently at him. Uncertainty but also determination swirled in his eyes.

“Do you need _ Daddy _ right now Channie? Do you need _ Daddy _ to tell you what to do?” He asked, and Chan nodded fervently. “Alright _ baby _. You need to strip so I can dry you, before getting you dressed.” Chan nodded again, helping Woojin as best as he could. When all layers had been removed and he was standing in his underwear, Woojin pulled out the big fluffy towel he had used to dry Chan’s hair earlier and wrapped it around him. Silent tears were still dripping down the younger man’s cheeks, but Woojin wiped them away with gentle hands.

Chan had to close his eyes when Woojin pulled his underwear down, but he pulled on a fresh pair as quickly possibly so Chan’s discomfort diffused. Then Woojin put a soft pair of sweatpants on him and an equally soft hoodie.

“Good boy Channie, sit down on the toilet so I can put on your socks and shoes.” Woojin said quietly, and the corners of Chan’s mouth quirked up a little at the praise. He did as told, and a small giggle escaped him when Woojin pulled on soft, fluffy socks, since it tickled. Woojin stilled and glanced up at him, and when he looked down again Chan could spot a small smile on his face.

When he was fully dressed Woojin stuffed his wet and dirty clothes into a plastic bag and then into the duffel bag. He put the face masks back on too before they left the restroom, Chan clinging onto Woojin’s arm. The older man didn’t push him away though, instead intertwining their hands and letting Chan play with his fingers.

After buying their tickets they sat down to wait, away from the crowds. Chan leaned his head on Woojin’s shoulder and hooked his ankle around his leg, trying to feel as much of him as possible.

“I’m sorry.” He whispered behind his face mask, and Woojin looked around before cradling Chan’s cheek and bringing their foreheads together.

“Don’t say sorry all the time baby, I can’t handle seeing you so distressed.” He murmured, rubbing his hand up and down Chan’s knee. “We’re going on a little vacation baby. It’s just gonna be me, you, and my mom at home. We’re gonna rest, and we’re gonna fix this.” At the mention of ‘fix this’ Chan stiffened, and Woojin squeezed his hand.

“I’m scared _ Daddy _.” Chan whispered, and Woojin nodded.

“I know baby. I’ll make sure to be there with you every step of the way.” He whispered back.

When they got on the train they sat away from everyone else, and Woojin pulled out a cloth bag from the duffel bag and sat it in Chan’s lap.

“I put your phone and headphones there, along with your charger and a battery pack, if you want to listen to music or something. Are you hungry?” When Chan nodded Woojin pulled out a chocolate bar and opened it before handing it to him.

“I’m on a diet.” Chan mumbled, even if it was his favorite chocolate and he was starving. Woojin huffed, and stuck a bottle of pineapple juice in between his knees.

“You’re not now. Eat.” He said, and Chan looked at him with pleading eyes.

“They’re gonna be mad.” He said, and Woojin sighed. He cradled Chan’s cheek and pulled down his face mask, lifting the chocolate bar to his mouth.

“Please _ baby _ . Can you do it for _ Daddy _?” Woojin asked, eyes hopeful even if they were shining with unshed tears. Chan frowned but took a small, small bite and chewed slowly on it. He took another bite when he saw how Woojin lit up, and he couldn’t hold back his own smile.

“For _ Daddy _.” He said quietly, and Woojin petted his sligthly damp curls, his smile growing behind his face mask.

“_ Good boy _ Channie. _ My good boy _.” Woojin hummed, and if Chan had been a dog his tail would have been thumping like crazy.

During the 50 minute trip Woojin kept feeding Chan snacks, chocolate and gummies and chips, until he was sleepy and his stomach was plump and filled. When they arrived in Bucheon they walked to a convenience store and bought more snacks, filling two plastic bags that Woojin stuffed into his duffel bag.

They didn’t talk as they walked to Woojin’s house, a comfortable silence around them. Chan let the older man lead him down the streets, humming quietly along to the music playing in his headphones.

The anxiety returned when they were standing outside of Woojin’s family home, and he squeezed Woojin’s hand tightly.

“What if she doesn’t like me?” He mumbled, and Woojin let go of his hand to wrap his arm around his shoulders.

“She’ll love you Channie, don’t worry.” Woojin reassured, and then his mom opened the door. Woojin lit up and immediately stepped forward to embrace her. 

The similarity between mother and son was striking, and Chan put his headphones down around his neck to greet her properly. He prepared to bow to her but as soon as Woojin stepped to the side she pulled him into a hug.

“Welcome honey.” She said, and when she pulled away she held him by the shoulders to look at his face. “Woojin has told me a lot about you.” Her tone held something in it that Chan wasn’t sure he understood, but Woojin interrupted his train of thought when he groaned and pulled Chan away from his mom.

“Don’t scare him mom.” He whined, and she chuckled while letting them into the house.

“I’ll take dinner up to your room when I’m done with it.” She said before disappearing into the kitchen. Chan and Woojin shared a look, and then Woojin showed him up the stairs.

Woojin’s room was small but comfy, and Chan was directed to lay down on the bed. He curled up as he watched Woojin move around to prepare the room for their stay, and fondness swelled in his chest. 

“I’ve missed you.” Chan admitted into the mostly quiet bedroom, and Woojin stopped where he was fiddling with the curtains.

“I’ve missed you too Channie.” He said quietly. “I’m sorry for ignoring you and making you think I hated you. I know you have been super stressed over everything that happened but I want to fix it all.” Chan sighed, and scooted closer to the wall when Woojin came over to the bed. He pulled off his jeans before getting in next to Chan, and Chan kept his gaze on his face, feeling shame bubbling in his stomach after catching a glance of Woojin’s muscular thighs.

“I don’t know how we’re going to fix this Woojinnie.” He murmured, and Woojin slowly reached out and caressed his face.

“We don’t have to worry about this whole mess today. Today is about us, and me making things up to you.” He rested his hand on Chan’s cheek, thumb rubbing his cheekbone and under his eye. Chan opened his mouth, but just as he was about to speak there were knocks on the door. Woojin quickly retracted his hand and got up, getting two plates of food from his mom. He turned back and set the plates down on his desk, and Chan sat up with a groan.

“The staff are gonna kill me when we get back.” He grumbled and Woojin frowned.

“Can we set something straight before we eat Channie? We’re not idols when we’re here. We’re just Chan and Woojin, two goofy guys having a sleepover.” He said, and Chan’s mouth felt a little dry when he heard Woojin mirror Jeongin’s words from earlier in the day. “You’re not Bang Chan of Stray Kids here, you’re Chan… Channie, my best friend.” His voice sounded a little pained, and Chan reached out to him.

“Let’s eat Woojinnie.” He said gently, and they sat with the plates in between them on the bed. Chan was expecting them to eat like normal but Woojin had something else in mind, since he stuffed a cabbage leaf with meat and held it up in front of Chan’s mouth.

“C’mon, open up.” Woojin smiled, and Chan raised his eyebrows at him.

“I’m not a baby Woojin.” He said, and Woojin held it right up against his lips, more insistent.

“But you’re my baby.” He whined, and Chan tried to ignore the way his heart skipped and opened his mouth instead.

They fed each other through the meal, and Chan could feel himself slipping into the same headspace as he had earlier at the train station; subspace. It made him nervous to think about, feeling like he would be a burden on Woojin if he let himself go, but another part of his mind argued that Woojin had already accepted it and helped him earlier.

When they had literally licked the plates clean and put them on the desk, they laid down on the bed again, Woojin having changed into his pyjamas. Chan felt comfy and fuzzy, and when Woojin pulled him closer he sighed happily and cuddled into him.

“Do you wanna watch something?” Woojin murmured into his hair, and Chan shook his head.

“Wanna stay like this. Feels so safe in your arms.” He yawned, letting his guard down and finally letting himself be vulnerable with someone. Woojin pulled him closer, hand stroking up and down Chan’s back.

“Can I ask you a question Channie?” He mumbled, and Chan nodded. “Are you going into subspace?” Chan froze, but then nodded again, slowly.

“Sorry.” He whispered, and Woojin pulled back and tilted his head up, so Chan was looking into his shining brown eyes.

“You don’t have to be sorry for that. If you want, I could… I could take care of you?” Woojin said, sounding unsure, as they were moving into unknown territory for both of them.

“Like you did earlier?” Chan asked, and Woojin nodded. “Fuck, I- I don’t even know what to do, or how that would work here.” He groaned, and Woojin sighed in agreement.

“We don’t need to… get intimate. I could just tell you what to do?” Woojin asked, chewing on his lip in worry. Chan rubbed at his face.

“Okay.” Chan finally said after minutes of silence, and Woojin smiled encouragingly at him. “Tell me what to do.” He added in a whisper, and Woojin sat up with him in his arms.

“Okay baby. Uhm, kneel on the floor.” Woojin said, voice waivering slightly, but Chan did as he said. He bowed his head, so he could only see Woojin’s sock-clad feet when he got on the floor too.

“What do you want me to do for you?” Chan whispered, and Woojin tilted his head up so they were looking each other in the eye.

“I want you to remind me of your safewords.” It was not what Chan expected him to say, but he composed himself quickly.

“Green for continue, yellow for wait, red for stop.” He rattled off, and Woojin petted his head, running his fingers through his gray brown curls.

“Good boy Channie, that’s exactly right.” He praised, and Chan preened. “Now, I want you to take off your shirt.” Chan obeyed, dropping the hoodie behind him and letting his hands fall back into his lap. Woojin smiled at him and ran his fingers down his chest and stopped at his stomach, caressing the soft bump.

Chan shivered at the gentle touch, even if he couldn’t push away the shame filled thoughts at having eaten so much he was bloated.

“Look at you.” Woojin breathed out, putting both hands on his tummy and rubbing circles into the pale, mole-dotted skin. “You’re so beautiful Channie. Such a beautiful man.” It sounded more like he was speaking to himself, like he was thinking out loud, and Chan’s chest warmed. “I wanna mark your pretty skin.” That made Chan shiver.

“Please mark me.” He whispered, and when Woojin pushed at his chest he laid down, pliant as he spread his legs so Woojin could sit between them.

“Hm, where should I mark my beautiful baby?” Woojin hummed, and Chan’s face heated up as he shyly pointed to his chest. Woojin smiled and leaned down, gently nipping at his skin. Chan squirmed, not used to having Woojin so intensely close to him again after such a long time.

“Thank you.” Chan whispered, and Woojin chuckled.

“_ Baby boy, you’re so cute _.” He cooed, and Chan’s face heated up more. 

Woojin gradually worked his way up from nipping on Chan’s skin to actually sucking and biting, leaving red and purple marks on his pecs. Chan’s legs were jumping and shaking, and he had to press his hands over his mouth so he wouldn’t be too loud. Woojin grinned and sat back on his haunches, patting Chan’s knees

“Turn over and get on your knees Channie.” He said gently, and Chan suddenly felt nervous.

“What are you gonna do?” He gulped as he turned over, and Woojin stroked his hands over his hips.

“I wanna spank you, but over your clothes. Colour?” He said, and Chan let out a breath of relief.

“Green.” He mumbled, and Woojin ran his hands over his ass cheeks, stroking them gently for minutes before the first strike. Chan let out a small whine, but the mild pain felt good, stabilizing even. The pain wasn’t as sharp as it was on bare skin, but Chan decided he liked it even more. 

Woojin struck again and Chan shuddered. 

“I’m gonna do ten spanks baby, eight left.” Woojin said, and Chan nodded. “Use your words baby”

“Yes.” he mumbled. 

Three, four, five strikes, and a break. Woojin rubbed along his back, letting him breathe before spanking him three more times in quick succession.

“Good boy. Sit up again.” Woojin murmured, helping Chan up. He pressed his chest against the younger man’s back and wrapped his arms around him. “How you feeling _ baby _?” He asked right into his ear, and Chan whimpered quietly.

“Fuzzy. Good fuzzy.” He slurred, and Woojin rubbed his stomach.

“I have something for you, if you want them.” Woojin said, and Chan hummed. He let himself be manhandled and sat down on the bed, and Woojin pulled out his duffel bag again.

He tossed a few bags of candies onto bed and a cardboard box that scrambled with something solid inside it. Woojin pushed the candies aside and sat down with the box in his lap, turning Chan’s head so he was looking at him.

“I’ve bought you some things. I wasn’t able to give them to you before this whole mess, but I want you to have them.” Woojin said quietly as he opened the box, and Chan’s eyes widened when he saw the padded handcuffs, the ballgag, and the collar.

“For me?” He whispered, pointing to his chest, and Woojin nodded with a gentle smile. Chan moved so he was sitting with his back against the wall and let Woojin strap on the collar. It was black leather, sitting snugly against his skin and making him feel grounded. 

“You’re so pretty in that collar, Channie.” Woojin said. “Come sit.” He patted his lap, and Chan decided to sit with his side against Woojin’s chest instead of straddling him. Woojin rubbed his knee, nuzzling their cheeks together. They sat in comfortable silence at first, until Chan got antsy.

“I’m sorry about everything.” He said into Woojin’s neck. “I know you don’t want me to feel guilty but most of this is my fault.” Woojin stiffened, and Chan awkwardly slid off his lap and curled up next to him on the bed. “I’ve fucked everything up because I let my feelings go too far and hurt us like this.” He added in a mumble.

“Fuck.” Woojin whispered, and it sounded like he was close to tears. “Fuck Channie, what are you saying…?” Chan took a shaky breath.

“I have feelings for you.” He whispered. Woojin choked on his spit. “And I shouldn’t. I fucked everything up ‘cause I’m disgusting and stupid and, and, I’m a failure.” The silence was deafening, and then Woojin got off the bed. His entire body shook, but he quieted his sniffling.

“And is it wrong?” His voice wavered as he spoke, but Chan could feel the underlying confidence.

“What do you mean?” 

“Is it wrong? Is it wrong if you have feelings for me?” Woojin’s voice was becoming steadier, and his fists were clenched. Chan sat up straighter.

“It’s wrong. I, I shouldn’t have let myself get close to you like this, it’ll ruin us-” Woojin spun around and threw his hands in the air.

“So you regret it?” He shouted, and Chan pushed out a breath of irritation through his nose as he stood up.

“I shouldn’t have done it! I should have known better, I’m the leader! I need to be responsible!” He shouted back, and Woojin’s face twisted up in anger.

“But what the fuck about me then?! What about me Chan? What about how I feel?!” He yelled, and Chan drew in a sudden, furious breath.

“Woojin. Don’t.” He muttered, trying to keep his cool, but Woojin stepped closer to him, a challenging look on his face.

“Don’t? Don’t what? Tell you that you should give a fuck about me?” He hissed. “You’re not the only one that’s gotten hurt from this!” Chan groaned and rubbed his face in exasperation.

“We shouldn’t fight Woojin. We’re adults, we can talk about this maturely.” He sighed, but wasn’t ready for Woojin to snort at him.

“Adults? You said that having feelings for me is disgusting and wrong and stupid. That’s not how a fucking adult handles it.” He said and crossed his arms over his chest. 

They stared each other down for a few minutes until Woojin seemed to give up, and he turned to the door. He paused with his hand on the door handle, and he turned his head so he could look at Chan in the corner of his eye.

“If you’re disgusting and wrong, so am I.” He muttered before opening the door and disappearing from the room. Chan let out a frustrated noise and followed after him - after grabbing his hoodie - but as he was walking down the stairs he heard the front door slam closed. He pulled on his hoodie and his sneakers in the hallway, and ran out the door.

It took half an hour to find Woojin. He was sitting on a swing in a playground, slowly swinging back and forth with his hands clasped in his lap.

“There you are Woojin.” Chan breathed out, but the older man barely looked up at him.

“Why are you here Chan?” He said quietly, and Chan sat down on a fence pole.

“Because I care, and I can’t let you run off angry like that.” He sighed. Woojin looked up at him, and he looked so completely defeated behind his brown eyes.

“I don’t want to go back home. I don’t want mom’s questions right now.” He said.

“We aren’t. We’re gonna talk.” Chan said, getting up and carefully approaching Woojin and sitting down on the swing next to him. Woojin stopped his swinging and pushed himself back with his legs, holding himself as far as possible from Chan.

“I don’t want your questions either.” Woojin muttered, and Chan let out a dry bark of laughter.

“Can we set something straight before we talk Woojin? We’re not just normal guys right now. We’re idols, and I’m your leader. This isn’t just a personal issue because of that, this is affecting the entire group.” He said, and Woojin gave him a barely there nod. “So talk to me. Why did you walk out like that?”

“‘Cause you called yourself disgusting, and wrong, and stupid, and you’re none of those things. And you… You don’t even get it.” Woojin swallowed.

“I’m sorry that I blew up on you like that.” Chan apologized, slightly confused but trying to make things better. Woojin huffed.

“How can someone so clever be so stupid?” Woojin asked into the chilly night air, indignation clear in his voice. Chan was taken aback, and Woojin giggled lightly when he saw his confused face. “We’re both idiots, just so we’re clear.” Chan stared at his feet, kicking the rocks around.

“I get why I’m an idiot, but I don’t know why you’re calling yourself stupid.” Chan said, and Woojin hummed.

“Well, I’m the one who realised only a few hours ago that I’m in love with you.” With those last five words, Chan’s entire world stopped. It felt like an eternity for him to process the words, and he only snapped out of it when Woojin shyly intertwined their hands.

“In love with me?” Chan whispered in disbelief, and Woojin nodded. “But… Why?”

“Because… Because you’re amazing. You’re smart, and funny, and you’re a multitalented producer and artist. You’re an incredible friend. And you just fucking, you just caught me in your trap. I love you Channie, okay?” Woojin said, squeezing Chan’s hand. 

Chan was a blushing, confused mess. Tears were starting to form in his eyes, and he didn’t know if they were from joy or sorrow.

“And here I was thinking you hated me for falling in love with you.” He admitted, and let out a half giggle, half sniffle when Woojin hid his face in his free hand. “Hadn’t you figured it out yet? That I’m in love with you?” 

“It’s just weird to hear it from you. I mean, Jeongin has tried to tell me multiple times but I haven’t really dared to believe it.” Woojin mumbled into his palm, and Chan pulled him closer until he could wrap his arm around the chain of Woojin’s swing so they were sitting hip to hip.

“It’s kinda crazy to see him understanding us so well, even when he’s just nineteen.” Chan said, and Woojin could only nod in agreement.

They sat in silence after that, swinging slowly back and forth. Chan was occupied with playing with Woojin’s hands, slowly runnings the pads of his fingertips over Woojin’s knuckles and nails and callouses. He was suddenly struck by how much he had missed everything about Woojin, and how much he had suppressed his longing during the weeks they had fought.

“Hey Chan?” Woojin said quietly, and Chan hummed to show he was paying attention. “I love you.” At those three words Chan felt like electricity coursed through his body, and he brought his - and Woojin’s - hand up to cover his blushing face.

“Don’t- I- Stop. That’s mean.” Chan mumbled, pinching the back of Woojin’s hand. The older man giggled.

“Why? Is it wrong for me to say the truth?” Woojin teased, and Chan pouted up at him.

“I love you too.” Chan retorted, and laughed smugly when Woojin’s face flamed red.

“I love you Channie. So much.” Woojin mumbled while looping his ankle around Chan’s, and Chan felt like he was gonna combust. Not to be beaten, Chan intertwined their fingers properly and kissed Woojin’s knuckles.

“I love you even more.” He said, and Woojin whined at him. He knocked his swing into Chan’s, sending them swaying slowly side to side.

“Chan? Look at me.” Woojin said, and Chan turned to face him properly. Woojin looked around them briefly before cradling Chan’s cheek and nuzzling their noses together. “_ I love you. _” He whispered before pushing their lips together gently for a few seconds. When he pulled away their faces were both flushed and pink, and Woojin pulled Chan closer so he could bury his face in his shoulder.

“_ You’re gonna be the death of me. _” Chan mumbled, nuzzling his nose into Woojin’s hair and taking in the smell of his natural musk, the faded hints of perfume, his conditioner. 

“We should probably go home soon Channie.” Woojin said quietly, but made no move to pull away and stand up from the swing.

“Get up then.” Chan said without moving an inch either, and they started giggling to each other. Chan pecked Woojin’s head, and then stood up with a small grunt. Woojin looked up at him, hair ruffled and flat and his face a little shiny from grease. He was slumped over in the swing and his clothes were baggy in an unflattering way; Chan had never seen someone so captivating and beautiful.

“Carry me.” Woojin whined as he stood up, and Chan wrapped him up in a giggly hug.

“No, you big baby.” Chan teased back, and Woojin blew a small raspberry on his throat, making Chan squeal with laughter.

“You’re my big baby.” Woojin said fondly against his skin, and Chan felt warm happiness spreading in his stomach and up through his chest, bubbling through his mouth when he answered.

“Yes I am. I’m yours.”

Stepping through the door to Woojin's bedroom made the atmosphere shift. Before it had been sweet, innocent, but when Chan closed the door behind him Woojin grabbed his wrist and pulled him impossibly close, and it was suddenly heated. Chan's eyes flicked down to Woojin's lips for a second before they collided, lips slotting together and hips pressing up against each other. Chan’s hands found Woojin’s waist, sliding up under his shirt and caressing his soft skin.

“_ Fuck. _” Woojin grunted into his mouth and a shiver ran down Chan’s spine.

“Do you have condoms here?” Chan asked quietly as he started kissing down Woojin’s neck, and Woojin nodded.

“I have lube and condoms in the duffel bag.” He breathed out. They shuffled carefully towards the bed, bumping into the desk on the way before Chan ducked down and fell back on the mattress, while Woojin crouched down to get the lube and condoms. 

Chan pulled his sweatpants off and threw them to the floor, dragging his palm over his erect cock and up under his hoodie to touch his chest. Woojin was on top of him after just a few moments, straddling him so their crotches were pressed together. He dropped the condoms and lube next to Chan's face and then wrangled with his T-shirt, getting it off after a few seconds of struggle. He threw it on top of Chan’s sweatpants and leaned down to kiss him, but stopped halfway. Chan pushed himself up on his elbows and pushed their foreheads together, the loudest noise being their heavy breathing.

“What’s wrong, bear?” He mumbled and Woojin’s eyes fluttered close for a second before they opened again and he looked down at Chan, eyebrows furrowed.

“I don’t want it to be bad.” He said, leaning in to peck Chan’s mouth. “I want you to love it. I don’t want you to cry from your internalized… problems.” Chan frowned, wrapping his arms around Woojin’s neck and stroking his hands up and down his bare back. 

“First times aren’t supposed to be great, but we can do our best to make it good.” He mumbled, and Woojin pressed down on him, burying his face in his shoulder and biting his hoodie.

“You deserve it though. You deserve so much and I wish I could give it to you.” Woojin said, and pushed himself up so their noses were touching. “But even if I can’t give you everything I think you deserve I can at least give you a good time.” Woojin angled his head to the side and kissed Chan hard, stubble rubbing their faces red but they didn’t care, caught up in wanting to feel all of each other.

They stripped, throwing their clothes to the floor in a jumbled heap. They rolled over so Chan was on top, neck bowed so he wouldn't hit his head on the bottom of the top bunk. Woojin smiled fondly up at him, pulling his underwear down and wrapping his fingers around his hard cock. Chan gasped, and then gasped louder when Woojin reached up and looped his finger through the O-ring on his collar and pulled him down so he could kiss him, tugging at his bottom lip with his teeth.

“How do you wanna do it _ baby boy _? Wanna ride me?” Woojin breathed out, and Chan nodded eagerly. He crawled back so he was sitting by Woojin’s feet, allowing the older man to sit up as well. They pulled off their underwear and threw them to the floor, and Chan moved into a kneeling position so he could open himself up. He wasted no time in rolling a condom onto his fingers and lubing them up, teasing at his rim before pushing one in. Woojin was watching him intently, teasing the vein on the underside of his cock. Chan wanted nothing more than to sink down immediately - like in his countless wet dreams - but he also knew that would be really dangerous. He settled for dragging his eyes over him, imagining what it would be like to completely ravish him. He would love to take the lead sometime, pleasure Woojin until he was completely undone and shaking underneath him. His eyes fell from Woojin’s cock, farther down, his balls tightened up so Chan could glimpse his asshole. Oh. That was an idea.

“Fuck.” He muttered, pulling his finger out to add more lube and a second finger. His left hand wandered from his thigh to his stomach, then up his chest and finally he grabbed onto his collar. He tugged carefully on it, trying his best to relax around his fingers.

“Channie?” Woojin said breathlessly, and when Chan looked up at him he grinned. “I love you.” The words had immense effect on Chan, who shuddered and blushed hard, trying to focus on fingering himself.

“I love you too, you dork.” He mumbled, and Woojin sat up until they were face to face. He smiled before cradling his cheeks and kissing him, licking at his lips until Chan opened his mouth a little. Woojin’s mouth distracted him from the discomfort of stretching himself open, so it didn’t take long until he was nearly bouncing on four of his fingers.

“You ready now baby? You ready for my cock?” Woojin whispered, and Chan could only try to hold back the whimpers.

“Yes please _ Daddy _, I want it so badly.” He pleaded, and Woojin kissed him quickly before lying back down. Chan watched with bated breath as he rolled the condom onto his cock, and he walked forward on his knees until he was in a good position.

“Slow now _ baby boy _, just take it easy.” Woojin mumbled as he held him steady with one hand and guided his cock to his asshole with his other. Chan leaned his hands against the bed frame, biting his lip as Woojin pushed the head of his dick against his rim.

“_ Daddy _?” Chan whispered, and when Woojin looked into his eyes he smiled wide. “I love you.” Woojin puffed out a breath, sticking his tongue out between his teeth.

“I love you too.” He whispered back, and then slowly started pushing into Chan. The stretch was intense; it kind of felt like he was being split in two, but he liked it. A small whimper escaped his mouth, but he tried to hurry Woojin up so he could bottom out. He frowned down at Woojin when the older man stopped moving, but sighed happily when Woojin started pushing in again.

“Slow baby, slow. I don’t want to hurt you.” He mumbled, and Chan lifted one hand to rest it over his eyes, somehow feeling like he had to hide his face. Long, warm fingers wrapped around his boney wrist and pulled his hand down, and his eyes met Woojin’s gentle and loving ones. “Why are you hiding baby? I want to see your pretty face.” He chuckled, and Chan blushed.

“It’s, it feels weird. I’ve never had sex with someone I love.” He explained, and Woojin reached up to caress his face, rubbing his calloused thumb over Chan’s cheekbone. Closing his eyes, Chan leaned into the touch and nuzzled against Woojin’s palm.

“You’re so beautiful. And you’re doing so well, such a good boy.” Woojin cooed, and Chan giggled quietly, cheeks warming up. “Open your eyes, Channie.” Chan peeked out of one eye, and opened both when Woojin nodded downwards, to his middle. “You’ve taken all of me so well.” 

“Oh.” Chan mumbled, realizing he had sunk all the way down on Woojin’s cock without noticing. He giggled suddenly, leaning down and kissing Woojin. “It feels really good.” He added, and Woojin stroked his hips.

“Can I move?” He asked, and when Chan nodded he started rocking his hips up slowly, lifting Chan up slightly and then pushing him down on his shaft. Chan shuddered, the drag a little rough but so pleasurable, Woojin’s thickness filling him up and hitting sweet spots he didn’t know he even had.

“It’s, fuck, it’s really, really good.” Chan mumbled out, clumsily trying to meet Woojin’s gentle thrusts. Those plans went out the window when Woojin put his feet flat against the mattress so his knees were bent, because the new angle of his thrusts hit right against Chan’s prostate. He shuddered, grabbing Woojin’s left hand and intertwining their fingers and squeezing.

“You’re so tight and hot _ baby boy _ , feels so good on _ Daddy’s cock _.” Woojin mumbled, pulling his hand to his mouth and kissing the back of his hand, then licking the tip of his pointer finger into his mouth. Chan moaned, wrapping his hand around his cock and rubbing his fingers on the underside of the head.

“_ I love it _, I love it so much, I love you.” Chan babbled, and Woojin took another finger tip into his mouth and swirled his tongue around it.

“I love you too.” Woojin mumbled around the digits, and his eyes widened when Chan shook, clenching down on Woojin’s cock as he came hard, spraying ribbons across Woojin’s chest and abdomen. Chan threw his head back in a loud cacaphony of moans, his eyes fluttering closed as he rode out his orgasm.

He turned red when he finally opened his eyes again, looking at Woojin who had an expression somewhere between adoring and surprised.

“Did you just cum ‘cause I said I love you?” He asked, and Chan could only nod slowly. Woojin’s face split into a smug smile, and Chan put his hand over his mouth before he could say anything else.

“Don’t. Just, don’t.” He mumbled, uncomfortably sitting up and slipping off of Woojin’s cock. His lover was still hard, and Chan sat back unsurely on his feet.

“Do you wanna finish me off?” Woojin asked with a small smile, and Chan nodded, taking off the condom and throwing it in the trashcan by Woojin’s desk. When he got back on the bed he decided to take a little package he had spotted in the duffelbag and open it, carefully holding the folded sheet of silicone in his hand. He laid down so he was right in between Woojin’s legs, carefully smiling up at the older man when he looked at him questioningly.

“I wanna eat your ass.” He said quietly, not prepared for Woojin to throw his head back and moan. When he looked down at Chan again his eyes were filled with lust and pleading.

“Please.” Woojin breathed out. “I’ve always wanted to try it.” He added, and Chan kissed his thigh before gently parting his legs more, so he could comfortably fit in between. 

“Give me the lube?” Chan asked, giggling at how Woojin dropped the bottle a couple of times in his eagerness. He clicked it open but stopped, chewing on his lip as he though about how he wanted to go about it. He scooted even closer, smearing some lube on on his middle finger and then smearing it on Woojin’s rim. The older man tensed up at the cold sensation, and Chan felt his mouth water when he saw how his asshole moved.

He unfolded the silicone sheet and then laid it against Woojin’s hole, pulling it taut before experimentally poking his tongue at it.

It had the desired effect; Woojin let out a near yell and closed his legs around Chan’s head, squirming when Chan continued licking. Flattening his tongue, Chan licked slowly over his rim. That made Woojin reach down and grasp his hair, tugging lightly at the strands as Chan continued to lick over his hole.

“It feels good Channie, keep going like that.” Woojin mumbled, and Chan smirked before pushing the tip of his tongue into the tight rings of muscle pumping his tongue in and out until Woojin’s legs were shaking around his head and his hole had loosened up a little.

Chan wrapped his hands around Woojin’s thighs, squeezing and groping at tan skin and firm flesh, holding them even tighter around his head as he tongue-fucked Woojin’s ass. Woojin was pulling his hair so tight it felt like he was gonna rip it out, but Chan couldn’t complain; the pain just spurred him on. Woojin was touching his cock with his other hand, and Chan could feel how frantically he was moving.

“Channie, _ Chris _, fuck…” Woojin whimpered. “I’m close.” The breathed out words made Chan’s head swim, and he kept up the fast pace he had set, until Woojin’s climax hit. Chan felt his balls tighten on his face, and he pulled his face up to see Woojin milking his cock onto his abdomen, muttered swears pouring out of his mouth.

He finally relaxed his legs, and Chan could stretch out his stiff neck. He pushed himself up on his hands and immediately dipped his face down to lick up the cum on Woojin’s stomach, though the older man stopped him. Chan pouted at him, but didn’t make an attempt to do it again.

They cleaned up in silence, wiping off the cum and lube and sweat with wet wipes Woojin pulled from his duffelbag. Chan was done first, and he changed into clean underwer to lay down on the bed again, that surprisingly hadn’t gotten dirty at all. He fondly watched as Woojin finished cleaning himself and pulled on fresh pyjama pants before sliding in next to Chan and pulling the duvet over them.

“Hey.” Chan mumbled, suddenly feeling unsure and shy.

“Hi.” Woojin mumbled back, grabbing his hand that was laying next to his head and intertwining their fingers. Chan fidgeted with the O-ring on his collar, soothed by how Woojin rubbed his thumb over his skin.

“I love you, Kim Woojin.” Chan whispered, moving in and kissing Woojin gently. When he pulled back Woojin grinned at him, and he moved in closer and wrapped him into a hug.

“I love you, Bang Chan, you fucking dork.” The older man said into his hair, and Chan couldn’t hold back his giggles.

“And you’re the one that fell in love with this fucking dork.” He retorted, and squeezed Woojin’s thigh. Laughter rumbled in Woojin’s chest, and he pulled Chan’s head up to kiss him. Chan responded eagerly, pushing his hand into Woojin’s thick locks as they licked into each other’s mouths. 

After that Chan laid his head on Woojin’s chest, the steady rise and fall from his breathing lulling him closer to sleep.

“Channie. We’re going back in two days.” Woojin suddenly said, quiet and clearly conflicted. Chan opened his eyes and stared out into the dark room, letting out a big sigh.

“I know. But let’s worry about that then instead. These days are just for us.” Chan, pushing himself up on his elbow so he could look into Woojin’s eyes. He smoothed his thumb over the wrinkles on Woojin’s forehead, and then he kissed his nose. “Let’s just be normal people for a little while.” He mumbled into his ear, and Woojin kissed his check, smooth skin sliding against smooth skin and lighting small fires in Chan’s chest.

“Just Woojinnie and Channie.” Woojin mumbled, eyes drooping as he pecked Chan’s skin, wherever he could reach. Chan laid back down, resting his hand next to his head and stroking his thumb over Woojin’s chest.

He let sleep overtake him, a smile on his lips from the knowledge that he was safely with the man that he loved.

Woojin, the man who loved him.

**Author's Note:**

> sooooooo how was that for a sequel??? 
> 
> comments and kudos are always appreciated!
> 
> [my twitter!](https://twitter.com/toothywoochan)  
[my curiouscat!](https://curiouscat.me/toothywoochan)


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